Chris Ranking

Chris Pine Is Rapidly Rising in the Chris Rankings

The actor is on the charm offensive, and it’s working.
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By Lloyd Bishop/NBC/Getty Images.

Chris Pine has steadily risen in the Chris Score, like a Q Score, but for ranking your Hollywood Chris-types. A quick history: Over the course of three years, a meme about the many famous Chrises (Pratt, Evans, Hemsworth, Pine, etc.) spawned a thousand articles, and a thousand articles spawned Pine’s appearance on S.N.L., where he clarified who he was in relation to other white actors with chins named Chris. It was helpful. It was dance-y. It inspired this one perfect Venn Diagram.

For some, the canon stated that the true Chris order was Hemsworth, Pratt, Evans, Pine. Then it was certainly Evans, Hemsworth, Pine, and Pratt. A Chris preference is a very personal thing; there is no one true right answer, but we can now say beyond a shadow of a doubt that if Pine has not necessarily leapt to first place, he’s very, very close. Because as Pine makes the press rounds for Wonder Woman, he continues to show off his indefatigable charms. And also because of flip phones.

On Wednesday's Good Morning America appearance, Pine announced that he subscribes to the near-Luddite belief that simpler is better, which is why he traded in his smart phone for a simple one. He told the hosts, “The flip world is a whole world you gotta get into.” The Flip World, a far off land in the galaxy of 2003. “You remember when you had to do that T9 thing. Wow!” he wondered. (Recall that T9 is the language spoken in the Flip World).

It’s such an endearing detail because it rings true to his specific Chris brand, one that is marginally different than the others. He’s the oldest Chris, after all, and the one most likely to wear double-breasted khaki suits and linen pants with high waistlines. It all sort of fits together. He is dad of the Chrises (even if Chrises Pratt and Hemsworth are the actual dads). With Father’s Day approaching, it’s enough to put him at the top of the heat.