Who does it better?, we want to know. Who does it best? Who has the better plan for health and happiness? Grimes? Or Katy Perry? Or Gwyneth Paltrow? Or Shailene Woodley? What’s their secret?
Perry’s restorative health plan is largely enema-based. That’s what she told Australian radio program Smallzy’s Surgery. “I’m kind of into those type of things, like health and healing places and self-betterment places,” she said. “Especially as you get older and you have longer hangovers, you realize the cells in my body are dying. I did this thing called Panca Karma, it’s basically Ayurvedic eating and cleansing, you do lots of enemas.” Ayurveda will soon permeate the U.S. wellness world, but for now in this country, it’s mostly in the purview of fringe health folks and wealthy youth seekers, Perry included.
Grimes, on the other hand, recently revealed that she had an “experimental surgery that removes the top film of my eyeball and replaces it with an orange ultra-flex polymer that my friend and I made in the lab this past winter as a means to cure seasonal depression,” per an Instagram promotion for Stella McCartney x Adidas. She “astro-glides” in a deprivation tank. She maintains “a healthy cellular routine where I maximize the function of my mitochondria with supplements such as NAD+, Acetyl L-Carnitine, Magnesium, etc.” in order to “promote ATP.” She screams. She fights with swords for hours on end. She uses a humidifier. It’s a real grab bag of science, pseudo and otherwise!
There’s always old standbys if these don’t sate your searching: Paltrow’s Moon Dust and handful of cigarettes a year. Woodley’s mud snacks.
But anyway, are you a self-betterment place that relies on enemas to stay young forever, or are you experimental eye surgery to combat seasonal depression?! Or do you eat clay, or do you smoke sometimes? It’s your choice!
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