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An Illustrated History of Donald Trump’s Hair. Warning! Don’t Read Before Lunch!
They say you can tell a lot about a man by the way he combs his hair. Actually, they don’t say that. No one does, not even GQ grooming columnists desperate for a lead. As a statement, it’s probably not even true. Still, it sounds good, seems authoritative, satisfies the human craving for simplistic maxims, and is thus a perfect way to introduce a listicle about Donald Trump and the inanimate object that straddles his scalp like a dead, furry lobster.