On Monday, Johnny Depp wrapped his testimony in his libel lawsuit against British tabloid The Sun for calling him a “wife beater” in a 2018 headline. For the final day of Depp’s testimony, his lawyer, David Sherborne, closed the book on his client’s side of the story on a scatological event that happened in 2016 and had been referenced repeatedly in the courtroom throughout the trial. The full story is, as anyone who’s followed the lawsuit in the London High Court over the past week will be familiar, both extraordinary and of dubious veracity, as the other side always tends to have an opposing tale to tell.

Back in 2016, as Depp’s story goes, the 50-something was not in the mood to attend his wife Amber Heard’s 30th birthday party at their penthouse. Depp had received some bad news at a financial meeting that day: he had lost $750 million. “Since Pirates [of the Caribbean] 2 and 3, I had—and this is ludicrous to have to state, it’s quite embarrassing—apparently I had made $650 million,” the actor told the court, alleging his former business managers stole some of his money, and was also “$100 million in the hole because they had not paid the government my taxes for 17 years,“ according to Page Six. (Depp sued those managers in 2017; they settled in 2018).

He arrived two hours late to her party, and claims that after he eventually retired to the bedroom to read, Heard came in the room to pick a fight. In a recording that Heard made months later, they discussed the night in question and Depp is heard saying that she “haymakered” him. He clarified for the court that haymakering is “just a type of wild swinging…kind of a roundhouse punch, as it were. It’s a bit of a wild swing but effective if it reaches the target.” (Heard had previously accused him of hurling a magnum bottle of champagne at her that night, pushing her down, and pulling her hair, Page Six notes. He also allegedly left a note that read, “Happy f--king birthday.”)

Depp’s lawyer reportedly read out notes from a nurse who was at the party. She called him “coherent,” “sociable” and “affectionate,” and said Heard “appeared irritable and upset” and “angry with her husband because he’s late.”

As Depp claimed, though, someone had left excrement in his bed, which the cleaner had found the next day and texted him about. The Sun’s representation, Sasha Wass, suggested on Friday it was one of their two Teacup Yorkies, according to the Daily Mail, but Depp “was convinced that it was either Ms. Heard herself or one of her cohort involved in leaving human feces on the bed.” He acknowledged that he told jokes like “Amber Turd” who was “in the dumps,” and claimed his wife dismissed the incident as a “harmless prank.”

After this night, Depp resolved to divorce Heard, he told the court Friday. Per Metro, Wass read out text messages to Christian Carino, agent and Lady Gaga’s ex-fiancé, in which Depp asked she be taken off the Aquaman movie. He also asked for texts from Carino. “I’m gonna need your texts about San Francisco, brother…I’m sorry to even ask,” he wrote, according to Metro. “She’s begging for total global humiliation. She’s gonna get it…she sucked Mollusk’s crooked dickk and he gave her some shitty lawyers…I have no mercy, no fear, and not an ounce of emotion, or what I thought was love for this gold digging, low level, dime a dozen, mushy, pointless dangling overused flappy fish market.” (Mollusk likely refers to Elon Musk, with whom he’s accused Heard of having an affair. Musk previously denied that his relationship with Heard began before her split from Depp, and Heard’s team declined to comment.)

“I’m so fucking happy she wants to go to fight this out!!!” Depp reportedly continued. “She will hit the wall hard!!! And I cannot wait to have this waste of a c--- guzzler out of my life!!! I met a fucking sublime little Russian here…Which made me realize the time I blew on that 50 cent stripper.”

Depp added, “But, NOW, I will stop at nothing!!! Let’s see if mollusk has a pair…Come see me face to face…I’ll show him things he’s never seen before….Like, the other side of his dick when I slice it off.”

On Friday, Sherborn asked Depp to rebut a series of assertions from The Sun’s representation. Depp denied hitting Heard, and said that the damage to the hotel room in the early ’90s was worth $2,000, not $10,000, and his then girlfriend, Kate Moss, was there but not involved. He only paid the hotel thousands more dollars “to make up for leaving the hotel before his reservation was up,” according to the Daily Mail. He recounted a 1999 incident wherein he charged the paparazzi in London, and explained that it was merely to protect his pregnant partner at the time, Vanessa Paradis.

The court heard medical notes on Heard’s “history of substance abuse, including addiction to cocaine and liquor,” which Depp corroborated. He also corroborated what the notes said were Heard’s “severe outbursts of anger and rage“ and having a “reported increase in verbal disagreements resulting in... anxiety,” according to the Daily Mail.

The trial still has two weeks to carry on, and the court will hear from Heard herself, as well as Winona Ryder and Paradis, Depp’s ex-partners.

As Depp left the stand Monday, he told the court usher, “I’m gonna miss you.”

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