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Watch Colbert Gleefully Dissect Scaramucci’s Vulgar Interview

“Look, if Bannon could do that, he’d never leave the White House. Though I gotta say, we never see him anymore. Good for you, Steve.”

Very quickly, Anthony Scaramucci has proved that he does, indeed, belong in this administration. The new White House communications director had already begun to make waves during his first week on the job when an instantly viral New Yorker interview revealed just how unhinged this guy can be. In a stream of profanity-laden remarks, the Mooch said he suspects Reince Priebus is a White House leaker dead set on “cock blocking” him; that he’s working with the Department of Justice and the F.B.I. to find out who leaked a publicly available financial disclosure form; and that he, unlike Steve Bannon, is “not trying to suck my own cock.” Naturally, late night had a field day; as Stephen Colbert put it on The Late Show, “I am feeling blessed tonight.”

“I was worried when Sean Spicer left that the communications office that the White House would lose some flavor. Little did I know, he was going to be replaced by a guy who serves up some very spicy quotes,” Colbert said. “As much as I’ve enjoyed the things that Scaramucci has said so far in his one week on the job, we got an incredible taste of unfiltered Mooch today. . . . Be warned, if you are put off by foul language, the Mooch thinks you should mooch yourself in the head. I want to give a quick warning to the CBS censors: you guys are going to have to break out the emergency extra bleeps for this one.”

Colbert then read through some of the most-colorful quotes from the exchange, raising his eyebrow at more than a few of them. Has Priebus ever “cock blocked” Scaramucci? “I don’t think anyone can block you from being a cock,” Colbert quipped. Is Bannon really capable of autofellatio? “Look, if Bannon could do that, he’d never leave the White House. Though I gotta say, we never see him anymore. Good for you, Steve.” And as for publicizing the financial disclosure form, “How did you not know that wasn’t a felony? You went to Harvard Law School; what did you study there, a VHS copy of My Cousin Vinny?”

On Late Night, Seth Meyers was similarly fascinated by the Bannon claim—and the fact that he was apparently unavailable to comment on The New Yorker article. “I’m guessing Bannon was unavailable to comment because, based on his skill set, he was otherwise engaged,” Meyers said. “Or maybe he did comment and it was muffled.”

And then there was Trevor Noah, who coined perhaps the best euphemism for the Bannon accusation that one could possibly imagine. “Oh, man; now first off, just looking at Bannon, I don’t think that’s physically possible,” Noah said. “Second, I feel like if that were true, Steve Bannon would be a lot more chilled out. Like, I didn’t even know it was possible to drain your own swamp.”

We’ll never think of that Trump catchphrase in the same way again.